Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
In America we eat man semen.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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