the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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