is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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