We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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