Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Randomize
