Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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