Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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