ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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