I murdered the dance floor call the cops
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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