He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Houston, we have a blender
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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