maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
