I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
