Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
