Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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