I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Your cock deserves a montage
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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