she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
