Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
