dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she peed on how many people?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize