who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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