So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
In America we eat man semen.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
