He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
