win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize