im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
