The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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