he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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