was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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