What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
