wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
