How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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