Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize