A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
