Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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