When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
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