Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize