he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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