just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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