this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
