I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
