You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
