I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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