she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
