im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
