I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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