I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
