Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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