we have pet lesbian snakes
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
