Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
