nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
