goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
