that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
