I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
