Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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