She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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