Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
