Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
