My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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