guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
