if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
