I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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