I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize