My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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