so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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