i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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