you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
