We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
