Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
