Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
